The story of Thomas

The Reunion Story of Thomas A. Grant.

Our second beneficiary is Mr. Thomas A. Grant. On February 14, 1997 CCC assisted him to fly from Seattle, Washington to Dayton, Ohio to meet his birth mother for the first time. This is his story in excerpts from his correspondence to us over a 10-month period.
Reprinted by kind permission of Thomas A. Grant
September 17, 1996.

Dear Paytra Van Pelt,
I just received the "Geborner Deutcher" newsletter that contained the article about your "Chosen Children's Charities, Inc". Shortly before finding this article I was connected to my birth mother after 36 years.

I was born in Dizenbach, Germany July 3, 1960. My birth mother, who is German, was 18 years old and had met a black American serviceman. It was only a brief affair and soon he left, not knowing of her pregnancy. Being the time period and the feelings within the community about interracial children, she was unable to keep me and gave me up for adoption.

I was soon adopted and brought to the U.S. at the age of three. I was very lucky to have two wonderful parents who raised me with so much love and compassion and kept me informed of why my birth mother had to give me up and that soon after I had been adopted, she had married an American serviceman and was now possibly in the States.

Well, over the past 30 years I've been wanting to connect, going through the stages of wonder, abandonment and real interest, but then just letting it all pass. Finally, I decided to go for it all. Having all my birth records (with the assistance of a searcher) I was able to locate my mother and she had been residing in Ohio since 1965!

I was overwhelmed by this and just two weeks ago I made the one call that has changed my life forever. We have talked several times now, the first one of the calls being very emotional. I found out that even though het husband was aware of me in the sixties, the thought of having a (racially) mixed child was not his way of life. Now, after 36 years, I've finally found her but, unfortunately, she is unable to tell her family (husband and two daughters) about me. At least not right now.

My birth mother will be in Germany next summer visiting her two sisters. I told her that my next venture was to visit my birth place. She said she would meet me there. A full circle of events! I have the opportunity to visit my birth mother and my place of birth during the month in which I was born. At this point I'm trying to save enough money to make this dream come true.

I know during my life that things happen for a reason. Shortly after connecting with my birth mother, the German newsletter arrived and I found you. So I'm taking the time to write and see if it would be possible to get some sort of assistance for my trip next summer. know I will make the trip some way, but having seen your article it gives me hope even more so. I just want to say thanks for creating an organization such as yours which enriches people's lives to their fullest.

November 25, 1996

............as you have noticed several months have gone by. My (adoptive) father became very ill and was put into hospital. September 26th he passed away. I have been busy dealing with the death of my adoptive father and being there for my (adoptive) mother. I tried going to a support group meeting for adoptees several weeks after my father's death, but unfortunately it was too much to handle at that time. Now I am finishing up yuor application.

I've been keeping in contact with my birth mother. She told het husband that I have located her and that we have been communicating. His response was that he was surprised that I didn't find her any sooner. I also just received a Thanksgiving card from the both of them telling me that they have opened their house to me at any time!

So now I'm going to try and visit them in Ohio in February, on Valentine weekend of the 14th-17th. Earlier I did say I wanted to visit her at my birthplace in Germany, but I would like to see if you can help me with my trip to Ohio in February. I would try any means to be with my birth mother.

Thank you, Paytra again for all you do for adoptees and their families. You're one in a Million!

January 30, 1997

Upon learning that CCC would purchase his round-trip airline tickets to Dayton, Ohio.

.....Well, my hopes and dreams are coming true in a way that is so bigger than life it's hard to grasp! Thanks to all who have put their efforts toward these dreams of mine!! I call Theresia (my birth mother) at least once or twice a monthm and our talks have been pretty good. I have talked with one of my sisters and als with Theresia's husband. They are all very excited about this reunion and have accepted me with open arms...............

Thomas and his birth-mother Theresia

March 20, 1997

............My trip was pretty amazing, everyone accepted me with open arms and treated me as one of the family. Waiting for my flight at the airport, I had to have a Bloody Mary just to keep my nerves in order. On the plane, I sat next to a woman from Arizona who has a sister in Seattle, so we chatted a bit and I told her my story. She was very happy for me. I was a bundle of nerves, loaded down with a bouquet of roses, a bag of gifts and a carry-on full of photos and clippings of things I've done over the years.

As I came out of the plane, I could see Theresia eagerly waiting and smiling. We hugged and I gave her the roses. There was Ramona and Sarah waiting, with tears just streaming down their faces. They had balloons and a teddy bear with "I love you" on it. I was very overwhelmed. My seatmate from the flight came up next to me and just gave me a big nod of acknowledgment, letting me know how happy she was for me. Boy, what an exciting time that was.

I have you and your Board to thank. You have given me a part of my life that I never knew. Now it's like a new beginning and it's a very happy and positive one. Thanks so much to everyone who was involved.....

July 8, 1997

Well, my hopes and dreams have come true with the arrival of Theresia. She was able to visit me last week for my birthday on July 3 through July 6. It was so exciting to have her in Seattle to see me in my own environment. My roommate threw a birthday party for me and Theresia was able to meet all of my friends.

The most emotional time for Theresia was when she reunited with my (adoptive) mother, whom she met 35 years ago in Germany shortly after my adoption. They had their time together, talking and sharing the past and the present, that brought lots of emotions -- part of the healing process.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been for Theresia to give me up, and not because she didn't want me, she did. It was the pressures during the time -- Germany in the 1960's, being an unwed mother at the age of 18, the pressures of the community, family and friends, plus the fact of me being a mixed race child. All that made the decision a hard one, but one she couldn't ignore. However, with the sorrows comes plenty of joy. Our relationship is building into something wonderful to cherish.

When the trip came to an end and I took her to the airport, I had no idea that my emotions would be so filled with sorrow of having to see her leave. The whole day was very depressing and hard for me. It was as if I was being torn apart from her once again. But I hold on to what is to come in the future. I will look forward to meeting her in Germany to see my birth place and to meet her family, a sister and several cousins, none of whom speak English. I know that there will be a connection for the most part, with Theresia translating for us.

All in all, I feel that this process has been the most beneficial for myself and all others involved. All I can say, over and over again for the rest of my life is: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Dearest Thomas,
As I entered your letters in the computer, I was moved to tears on the way your story turned out so wonderful for you.
Who says there is no God?
He created us all as babies in our mothers wombs and I believe as adoptees He wants us to meet with them again in our life for all the reasons you so beautifully expressed.
I would like to Praise God for all that He has done through
Chosen Children's Charities!
I personally pray for His wisdom and guidance for each beneficiary that gets sent to us.
We, the board of dirctors of CCC, and all of our supporters and friends wish you and your new found family every happiness.
Paytra Van Pelt.